When I first entered the blogosphere, I was overwhelmed by all of the bloggers with SAHM and WAHM mentioned in their profiles. Initially, I thought, "All these poor women with some strange disease like PTSD." Eventually, one lovely blogger spelled it out for me, and I became insanely jealous. Not only am I neither a SAHM or WAHM, I'm not a M at all. Well, except that my name is Melissa. (If you want an explanation about Melissa vs. Miel Abeille, click here and there.) Moms today have a great chance to connect with each other through the blogging community, and a little part of me felt left out.
Single and childless, yet another black sheep. It doesn't help that "If I only had a baby..." plays in the back of my mind to the tune of "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. There are so many fun things I could do, if I only had a baby! First, I could enjoy lazy afternoons, pushing my little honey in a stroller. Just ask another Melissa, strollers are a joy! If I had a baby, I could enter Pizzazzerie's giveaway for custom baby clothes by JTP. Do you have a child? Wanna enter her contest? Click here, but be aware, the contest ends at midnight CST on April 30, 2010.
What else do I pine to do? Well, if I had a child, there would be a bona fide reason for me owning Deceptively Delicious. Yeah, I own a cookbook that is designed to sneak veggies into a child's diet. So what? Have you seen the cover? It's pretty and pink! And on the subject of cookbooks, I could effortlessly concoct the cupcake designs in What's New, Cupcake? for my child's birthday party or the class party celebrating Flag Day or Ground Hog's day or really any holiday, for that matter. My party supplies would come exclusively from Tweedle Dee Designs. Brandi really does bring fairy tales to life!
Sometimes, being single and childless is a real bummer. Seriously. At 33, I feel like I am alone, even in the blogging community. Why would a SAHM or a WAHM or any Mom, for that matter, want to read my musings? How can I relate to the reality of being a mom? Because, I know my idea of waking and making banana pancakes, then having a leisurely stroll through the park, followed by a lovely lunch before an afternoon siesta, only to awaken, refreshed, ready to embark on a Martha inspired craft project with darling, behaved children who giggle and shine and have no needs other than to play with me and yeah, I know that this is a run on sentence and that my impression of motherhood is just an illusion. Or do I mean delusion?
The reality is that when I was dipping my toe into the world of blogs, I limited myself because I doubted that I would fit into a niche. Truth be told, I've never fit into any pigeon hole. I might not be able to contribute to the discussion about what it's like to be a mom, but hey, moms are people, too!
I can't imagine a life in which I am defined by one word, and one word only. During a stint at The New School's writing program, I was irritated when someone mentioned to me that I have to define myself. Am I poet or novelist? Do I write fiction or non-fiction? I've written this before, and I will write it again: I am an artist who sculpts with sentences and paints with words. Please, please don't expect me to classify myself any further.
When Jessica mentioned that she was looking for a guest blogger, the artist in me was screaming "YES! Pick ME!" but the single, childless woman was shrinking back, thinking that I wouldn't have an audience within the mommy blogger community. Maybe you are still reading, maybe not. If you are, I want to thank the mommy's who blog and share some of their time with me. I am a part of your audience. I realized that you could be a part of mine. Just like I don't want to be defined by other people's expectations, I realized that the mommy bloggers have been contributing to my success, maybe they would like to read what I've got to say.
Reading the musings of women who have traveled somewhere that I intend to be some day is helping me in my daily life. Really. I am recognizing that this time that I have right now will never come again. Once I meet my Mr. Right and create our own family, I won't have the same opportunities that I have right now. So for now, I am enjoying the flexibility that being single and childless brings.
Am I thrilled that I am single? Nope. But, Betsy, a mommy blogger, wrote a post that struck me. She wrote, "It's safe to trust God's methods and to go by His clock." Love might come later for me than I would like. My heart knows that the wait will only whet the appetite, and sweeten the pot when the lasting love finally arrives. Until then, I am whittling away at growing into the person I want my Prince Charming to meet.
Authoring two blogs, I spend my days and nights pushing forward towards my dream career of accomplished writer. If you are looking for advice on a good book to read, visit me at Reminder List, my book review blog. Want to follow me on my quest to live well? Stop by Bons Vivants, a blog dedicated to living well.
Here's where you can find me:
Twitter: @miel_abeille
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mielabeille
Blogs:
Reminder List http://reminderlist.blogspot.com/
Bons Vivants http://bonsvivantsblog.blogspot.com/
Want to reach me privately? Email me anytime at miel.abeille23 at gmail dot com.
Cheers!
--
Sláinte!
Discover the unforgettable: http://reminderlist.blogspot.com
The amount of mommy bloggers out there can be daunting. I love that you don't have a specific niche though. I love that you craft and stroll your days away. It may not be great being single but you are getting to know yourself and that's the most important thing whether in a relationship or not.
ReplyDeleteI just *knew* that the first comment would be from Holly! You are always full of positive reinforcement, and I love that! Thank you!
ReplyDelete