December 2010 ~ Mia Ma Miah's Diaries!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Friday Funny! Healthcare Meets Airport Security‏!

Wonder Why Wednesday???

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Friday Funny! To Start Your Day With a Chuckle!

I LOVE EMAILS THAT GIVES ME A GREAT SMILE AT THE START OF THE DAY! HERE IS A GOOD ONE TO SHARE WITH OTHERS! HAPPY FRIDAY!

To start your day with a chuckle.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm....)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing, right!?)

A cat's urine glows under a black light..

(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig?? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to

someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone!

(and God love that pig!)

Wonder Why Wednesday???

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

Friday, December 17, 2010

Marriage or Relationship

With a Significant Other ...

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's

then adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ...

then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

..then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

..then adopt a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves

you unconditionally, perpetually ..

..then adopt a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness ....

..then adopt a cat!

You...

....have a GREAT Day!!!

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!

NOTE: Cute email sent from a friend!

Wonder Why Wednesday???

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

The Grace of God!

'To get something you never had,

you have to do something you never did.'

When God takes something from your grasp,

He's not punishing you, but merely
opening your hands to receive something better.

'The will of God will never take you where

the Grace of God will not protect you.'

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

~unknown~

Where Has The Time Gone?

I knew it would be hard but I really didn't think it would be this hard. To watch her grow up so fast and become this beautiful young lady that is talented in everything she does. It is so hard to even think about the day she will be off on her own. Most people say that they dread these teen years but so far I have been so very lucky. I can't believe the day finally came when I marked my whole day off of work to be doing her and her friends hair for homecoming. I spent the last 16 years styling everyone else's daughters and it finally was my turn! 4 hours and 6 styles. And I enjoyed every minute.

Homecoming 2010

Holiday Jingle Jam

And as for this, well it is mixed emotions! 5 more months and she gets her permit. I can't wait for the day she is able to run herself all over the place, but I know I won't be sleeping until she is safe at home,

She is actually pretending she is driving. I haven't had the nerve to let her try it yet.

Although she asks almost everyday!

How did you moms with older girls do it?

Friday Funny! Wal-Mart vs.The Uncle Sam

Wal-Mart vs. The Uncle Sam

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,

It is now official you are ALL corrupt morons:

a.. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.

b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.

c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.

e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.

f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM ??

Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel

NOTE: THIS IS AN EMAIL THAT WAS SENT TO ME AND I HAVE KNOW IDEA WHERE IT ORIGINATED!

Madison and her BFF!

Sometimes I wonder if Madison even lives here. She is always with her neighborhood "BFF". I think they spend more time taking pictures of themselves than anything. They run back and forth from our house to hers. But I really wouldn't want it any other way! I grew up having a best neighborhood friend and I still think of those days as a kid growing up. It is so fun watching the two of them hang out together. It's to bad we can't have those worries again.

Come Join The Jingle Bell Blog Hop!

"Jingle Bell Hop, Jingle Bell Rock,

Come Join The Jingle Bell Blog Hop"

This is a Dual Blog Hop So Come Rock

There Will Be Different Prizes On Both Blogs

Date Starts: Dec 8th to Dec 10th

Co-Hosted By Karren Haller and Glenda Cates

Prizes Check The Prize Room Click Here

More to be listed as they come in.

Please Grab the Blog Button to post on your blog.

To Participate and for the most chances to win it is mandatory that

you enter both blog hops

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50th Visitor

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Some Great Prizes On Mommies Point of View!

Hooray for Facebook Like You Back!

I just found out I was selected a the Facebook Like You Back Page of the Week! Yippy. Because this is my favorite meme! If you have a Facebook page and would like to help spread the word then this is the place to do it!

If you have never particiapated in FLYB then here are the details.

Facebook Like-You-Back hosted by Kelly’s Lucky You, Coupon Mommy of 3, Simply Stacie, Stockpiling Moms and Heavenly Mommy!

Are you looking for new Facebook pages to follow and new friends who like your page? Then join us!

1. Add your Facebook page to the MckLinky (you only have to add it to one and it will appear on all).

2. Click on the Facebook link for the five hostesses and “like” them on Facebook. Leave a comment on their wall and they will like-you-back.

3. Like as many more Facebook pages as you want, leaving comments with links so they’ll know where to like-you-back.

Want to help spread the word and add this MckLinky to your blog?

Write your own post telling your readers about FLYB. Below the linky box, you’ll see “Want to be a part of this Blog Hop? Click here for instructions and code”. You can also find the code for the Facebook Like-You-Back Button on the sidebar at the right.

Thank you for participating and let’s have fun!

Please link up directly to your Facebook page only. All other links will be deleted.

Hot Summer Softball Game!

A very hot weekend spent at the softball diamonds. She couldn't get enough of the water. Her and her big sis Maddy stayed cool playing in the water mister. It turned out to be one of the best things they could install at the games.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

30 Days of Truth!

I decided to wait a little while on doing this great little thing called 30 Days of Truth. I came across this and I can not tell you where it originated from because it just keeps going back and back! But I thought it would be a great way to start off the New Year! I first found the list over at Love is Everywhere.

So if you would like to give it a whirl go take a visit or copy the list here. I am hoping that most of these will be easy but I am also hoping I might surprise myself and take a better look into my own thoughts. If you decide to challenge yourself have fun and I will start posting mine on January 1st!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

The Mischievous Miah!

Now that I am back in the swing of things and being with out internet for so long I finally got lots of pictures uploaded and off the cameras and phones. Pictures are always my favorite. I am always pulling out the girls albums and flipping threw them. But since I was MIA for awhile I thought I would share some of the happenings during that time. Some good so crazy! Since we had so much to keep us busy with homecoming, halloween, sports and just life!

This is one of those moments where The Mischievous Miah got herself into Michaela's make up! At least she was trying to put the mascara on right! She just kept saying Miah pretty.

After hitting the bath right away she needed to blow her noes and to my suprise this is what came out!

A Silly Band Ring!

This Week Only! Just Jewelry Special!

I am having a special sale now until this Friday, December 10th! Don't miss out on these fantastic deals! They make for great gifts or to finish off your holiday wardrobe.

Flat Out Gorgeous Set

Just $40